More of our "Showing, Not Telling":

Instead of "The attic felt spooky", Emma wrote, "I opened the attic door.  Cobwebs hung everywhere.  Big chests sat in a corner, looking like they held a secret.  Drafts of wind came in and made whooing sounds like ghosts.  Boxes piled with toys cluttered the room.  It felt like the whole room was holding its breath.  Waiting.  Secrets."

Instead of "The pond feels slimy", Eli wrote, "The pond feels like rotten egg shells, moldy jello, and dried up milk all mixed together into a pond.  It was disgusting."

Instead of " The attic feels spooky", Lina wrote, "As I was walking up the stairs I could hear creaking sounds everywhere!  I saw spiderwebs everywhere.  There wasn't one thing that didn't have a spiderweb on it.  The attic was dank and cold.  I saw bat poop on an old suitcase.  There must be bats!"

Instead of "I was bored", Jaryn created, "I was super bored.  You know how kids can never be quiet or sit still?  Well, I couldn't either!  So I just walked around.  And for kids, 5 minutes seems like a whole million days!  But I can guarantee you it was more than 5 minutes!"

Instead of, "I was upset", McCenzy says, "'Nooo!' I start whining.  My.  Toy.  Car.  It's gone!  Tears run down my face.  I was playing mini-golf at the time.  I was 2 and my brother was 5.  I banged my golf club around like a maniac!"

Instead of, "The ride was fun", Maddy writes, "We started going up slow.  When we were at the top I looked over once and I was scared.  We went down the hill really fast.  I clutched onto the buckle then onto my dad and screamed.  We tipped so much I thought we were going to fall out!"